[Kanda's seen enough of Mathis's fighting style (I assume, in handwaved mornings) to not be surprised by how he fights now, it's true. Kanda draws Mugen in silence, and doesn't hesitate to take the first swing.
(Funnily enough, they're alike in this way too, the intrinsic understanding of how to wield their given weapons--it's just not obvious because of how often Kanda trains, and Kanda will never mention it.)
They're just gonna do this for a while honestly because Kanda truly doesn't know how to use his words. And the anger (the hurt, in a way) is clear in the aggression of his movements, in the way he fights--but even now, he doesn't hit harder than he feels Mathis can take. He doesn't pull his strength, of course, he wouldn't have even if Mathis hadn't specifically requested a serious sparring partner, but. Kanda isn't so reckless in his rage that he'd cause genuine harm. Not like this, anyway.
Eventually, once he burns through the worst of his anger, the silence from his thoughts--previously oppressive, stifling--shifts to something softer. A clearer mind, which is... the best he's going to get today, honestly.]
[the aggression is something that he can face. he's fought someone who hits hard before, sparred and trained with somebody who could easily throw him into a wall, so by the time kanda's anger begins to calm, mathis has likely taken a pretty decent number of hits. he can manage to hold up to that. but with any opportunity he gets, he strikes back without hesitation-- he never uses his blade to slice, only to deflect, relying on the hilt of it if not a strike from his other hand or a kick.
he's gotten better at doing this with one eye gone, at least.
it's only once he notices that oppressive silence becoming a more genuine quiet that he slows and stills, takes up a more defensive stance without fully dropping it.]
[He doesn't respond right away, but he slows in tandem with Mathis, lowering his sword.
Really, he could do this all day. It might even be better if he did. He has no intentions of confronting those four face-to-face, but it would help to fully wear himself out anyway. Mathis won't complain.
But Kanda's settled enough that the rest of his emotions can take hold more easily. The heartache and flashbacks, the resentment, the exhaustion. These are things he needs to grapple with alone.
It'll be a little easier now, though. His relationships with those four are broken beyond repair, but he, himself, doesn't have to be. He just needs time.]
internally: that's a relief... i think i only could have taken another couple of minutes...
he puts his knife away, then just finds a place to flop onto the ground. oof ough ow. they really did this and then mathis is going to have bruises from kanda, at kanda's trial, very funny actually!!!]
Would you rather I leave you alone for a while...?
[Throws my hat on the ground as you didn't get scaped TCH]
Yeah.
[He doesn't say "please" out loud, but--it's there, implied. He's trusting Mathis to listen, without thinking him cold for it. It's a bigger ask than it seems.]
[By morning, he will have compartmentalized all of this (kind of)--when Mathis comes to train, Kanda will act as though nothing happened. The only change he'll exhibit moving forward is the coldness he'll treat those four with.
But for now, he just nods; he sheathes Mugen, and turns to walk away, heading off to... somewhere. The rest of his PCs I guess. And then to CYOA and death!!!]
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(pleading_face)
(Funnily enough, they're alike in this way too, the intrinsic understanding of how to wield their given weapons--it's just not obvious because of how often Kanda trains, and Kanda will never mention it.)
They're just gonna do this for a while honestly because Kanda truly doesn't know how to use his words. And the anger (the hurt, in a way) is clear in the aggression of his movements, in the way he fights--but even now, he doesn't hit harder than he feels Mathis can take. He doesn't pull his strength, of course, he wouldn't have even if Mathis hadn't specifically requested a serious sparring partner, but. Kanda isn't so reckless in his rage that he'd cause genuine harm. Not like this, anyway.
Eventually, once he burns through the worst of his anger, the silence from his thoughts--previously oppressive, stifling--shifts to something softer. A clearer mind, which is... the best he's going to get today, honestly.]
no subject
he's gotten better at doing this with one eye gone, at least.
it's only once he notices that oppressive silence becoming a more genuine quiet that he slows and stills, takes up a more defensive stance without fully dropping it.]
...enough?
[or does he need more of this.]
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Really, he could do this all day. It might even be better if he did. He has no intentions of confronting those four face-to-face, but it would help to fully wear himself out anyway. Mathis won't complain.
But Kanda's settled enough that the rest of his emotions can take hold more easily. The heartache and flashbacks, the resentment, the exhaustion. These are things he needs to grapple with alone.
It'll be a little easier now, though. His relationships with those four are broken beyond repair, but he, himself, doesn't have to be. He just needs time.]
For now.
no subject
internally: that's a relief... i think i only could have taken another couple of minutes...
he puts his knife away, then just finds a place to flop onto the ground. oof ough ow. they really did this and then mathis is going to have bruises from kanda, at kanda's trial, very funny actually!!!]
Would you rather I leave you alone for a while...?
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Yeah.
[He doesn't say "please" out loud, but--it's there, implied. He's trusting Mathis to listen, without thinking him cold for it. It's a bigger ask than it seems.]
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[mathis nods, and while it takes him a second to get up-- he pulls himself to his feet once more.]
Um- I'll see you in the morning, but if you decide you would rather train alone too, then... tell me tomorrow, and I'll go work on my own, instead.
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But for now, he just nods; he sheathes Mugen, and turns to walk away, heading off to... somewhere. The rest of his PCs I guess. And then to CYOA and death!!!]