[she kept her distance from mathis yesterday - not because she was upset with him in any way, but she knows she isn't the best with comfort or tenderness. she decided it was probably best to let people who could help him more stay with him. today, though, when she sees him in the void, she pauses.]
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w2, sunday
...It seems foolish to ask how you are.
[his lucas.......]
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[the weekend is over, at least, and while he's definitely not going to forget it all anytime soon...
well, he's doing bad, but he's functional. that's the most that can be asked for right now.]
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[she thinks it would have needed to happen even if not in the way it did, but - that's a thought she can easily keep to herself.]
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[lucas was such a point of familiarity. he's taken care of him. he brushed his hair for him every day. he was supposed to survive, and go home.]
I knew how things would have to go, when I realized it was him, but I still wanted to... there were still things that I hadn't asked yet, and I...
I was just-- I was just about to ask them to wait before they hurt him.
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[at the last part - it's a bit hypocritical, considering what happened with nona, but.]
She shouldn't have done it that way.
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[maybe it's hypocritical for him too. he understood, with vin and nona. but this time it was just--]
I- can't help feeling guilty about not wanting to speak with her, but I... I don't.
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[some things linger and ache, even if you know they're necessary.]
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[so that should be a similar hurt, although-- he wasn't himself. it wasn't him. it wasn't.]
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It wasn't him.