when this memory clears, rondo holds still like he's waiting for another one. that's not the end of his tale, of course, and nothing comes - when nothing comes, he exhales, and he glances to his side to mathis.
there's a beat, and he offers him a smile. it's a little sadder than usual, but no less gentle. ]
I walk with the Flame. [ a simple answer, as he reaches up to touch his own heart. ] And I follow my heart. No matter what.
[ ah... this - flusters him a little? he ducks his head, and shakes it. ]
... Well, I don't know about that. I try to be. It's something I've always wanted. [ to be strong. the very thing he's chased since that fateful day he met sazantos - something he feels like he's never actually truly achieved. ] I still have a really long way to go.
But, your words are kind, Mathis. [ a dip of his head. ] Thank you.
[ oh this is. this is a lot. rondo's first thought is confusion, and then - betrayal, that he feels alongside mathis, that awful feeling of when you thought someone you loved cared for you, when your heart breaks to find it was a lie all along. he reaches up, subconsciously, hand touching the back of his own neck.
someone created, formed of many parts. the horror of "you're my expendable guinea pig", the heartbreak mathis feels. what's more human that? what could possibly be more human than that? he thinks of someone else who reacted far worse to a similar story, and he swallows, hard, drops his hand. ]
...Mathis...
[ he's just. stunned? stunned, and heartbroken for him, almost too shocked to speak. ] How... how utterly cruel.
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when this memory clears, rondo holds still like he's waiting for another one. that's not the end of his tale, of course, and nothing comes - when nothing comes, he exhales, and he glances to his side to mathis.
there's a beat, and he offers him a smile. it's a little sadder than usual, but no less gentle. ]
I walk with the Flame. [ a simple answer, as he reaches up to touch his own heart. ] And I follow my heart. No matter what.
no subject
[mathis couldn't have taken it. he couldn't, through all that.]
... you're so strong.
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... Well, I don't know about that. I try to be. It's something I've always wanted. [ to be strong. the very thing he's chased since that fateful day he met sazantos - something he feels like he's never actually truly achieved. ] I still have a really long way to go.
But, your words are kind, Mathis. [ a dip of his head. ] Thank you.
no subject
[before he can say anything else, though...
rondo gets hit with a memory this time.
and then another one.]
no subject
someone created, formed of many parts. the horror of "you're my expendable guinea pig", the heartbreak mathis feels. what's more human that? what could possibly be more human than that? he thinks of someone else who reacted far worse to a similar story, and he swallows, hard, drops his hand. ]
...Mathis...
[ he's just. stunned? stunned, and heartbroken for him, almost too shocked to speak. ] How... how utterly cruel.