[ there are just. there are no words? there are no words. when mathis gets to him, he'll find that rondo is trembling - just shaking, hard, even as the body and the scene and everything meld away into the illusory nothingness of the fog.
he takes in a huge, deep breath, the tears running fat down his cheeks, and for a minute, even he can't say anything. sorry he just needs. he just needs to blue screen. ]
[no, he gets it. he's felt that way before-- he just stays close and lets rondo cry it out for now, trying his best to help steady his trembling form as he does.
just as rondo has no words, neither does he. nothing will make this better. nothing will make it hurt less. words won't help this, and so right now, he doesn't try.]
[ if i had a fucking nickel this game let me tell you
it's not - he's not sobbing. he just needs to sit there and cry, miserably, pathetically. it's not strong, it's not flameguard behavior, but it is the behavior of someone with a very big, and very broken heart.
and then, very quietly: ]
We've never... we've never spent a Thursday... away from each other. [ ... ] I didn't even get to say goodbye.
but he knows mathis is right, too. he sucks in a breath, trying to force himself to find some semblance of... something like composure as he considers it. ]
M... maybe. [ but he's the one - he's the knight, he's the protector, he's... useless, here, with all of the rules that fall into place. ] I still...
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he takes in a huge, deep breath, the tears running fat down his cheeks, and for a minute, even he can't say anything. sorry he just needs. he just needs to blue screen. ]
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just as rondo has no words, neither does he. nothing will make this better. nothing will make it hurt less. words won't help this, and so right now, he doesn't try.]
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it's not - he's not sobbing. he just needs to sit there and cry, miserably, pathetically. it's not strong, it's not flameguard behavior, but it is the behavior of someone with a very big, and very broken heart.
and then, very quietly: ]
We've never... we've never spent a Thursday... away from each other. [ ... ] I didn't even get to say goodbye.
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[oh, no.
he'd disliked last night for multiple reasons, separation being one of them, and hearing that--
he holds a little tighter.]
Then... she must have known that you would have been there with her if you could.
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[ his voice stays small - a plucked string in his grief, voice thick, pitched higher than usual. ]
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[why can't they do anything? why can't they wake up just once, just one time, just do one thing to help someone live.]
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[ knocked out by some kind of fucked up magic fog. he hates it. that's the worst part of all of this, is not being able to do anything. ]
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[...]
But you said that she... wanted to protect you, too, didn't she? You stayed safe.
That wouldn't make me feel any better, in your position, but it might make me feel a little better if I were in hers.
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but he knows mathis is right, too. he sucks in a breath, trying to force himself to find some semblance of... something like composure as he considers it. ]
M... maybe. [ but he's the one - he's the knight, he's the protector, he's... useless, here, with all of the rules that fall into place. ] I still...