lavi [pcs]

[cumulative]

shitpost laterrr

Comments

[cumulative]

...only because... I know that it's what you told me you wanted.

If that's still your answer, then I-

[i don't want him to die. i don't want him to die like lucas did. suffer like camille did. i can't let-- i can't-

not again. no more. i can't.

his fingers curl tightly into the fabric of his shirt.]

Then-

[...damn it. he can't even say it out loud; mathis bites his lip, and finally shakes his head, eye closing as he lowers his gaze.]

...

Maybe I can't.

[bookpapers]

[...]

It's okay if you can't. What's not okay is if you hurt yourself trying to give me something that I want.

[cumulative]

I-

[he struggles with it. searches for the words, or... at least for words that he can actually say. in the end--

in the end, he can't find them, and in his thoughts there's just: but i don't have anything else to give you.]

[bookpapers]

...You've given me a lot already, and that's enough. Promise.

So don't beat yourself up about it.

[cumulative]

[it doesn't feel like enough. how could it be? he's still... he's only...

he's becoming a little more sure of who he is, but if he isn't a person who can do anything, will it matter?

a little of that comes through in his thoughts, though not clearly, but aloud he just says-]

...if you say so.