I was against it, at first. I thought that I was still going to die, and that I would only be... taking someone with me.
[he's quiet, for a second.]
Famine... reminded me there were reasons others would be willing to take that risk, and then after I spoke with Iwatooshi and decided to tell him I was his partner, I... ended up being a little relieved that I did it.
[but not only for the wish.]
I didn't mind having someone who I... was tied to, that way, especially him. He-- he was always good to me.
[he never knew anyone had suspected him. mathis certainly hadn't; he'd seemed the same as ever, still the same strong, kind person.]
I know that it couldn't be helped, the way that things happened, but I still... I wish there was something that we could have done. It must have been hard, continuing to suffer through it.
He might not have wanted to say, even if he could tell you. Especially since we still don't have a solution. [besides death] It would have put you in danger too.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
just setting a hand on lavi's arm, when he buries his head in his hands.]
...as far as I know, yes. It will. I asked Famine last night to help me with it, to... make sure I made it in a way that covered what I wanted.
no subject
[lavi you said that already...... he at least stops dramatically grabbing his head, putting his hands down and looking at Mathis instead.]
What about your affinity? Did it really get stronger?
no subject
[hesitating...]
I... should have asked if I was allowed to say anything about that too. I didn't regret finding him, though.
[he wouldn't have paired up with him, if he thought he would.]
no subject
[there are probably others but LAVI doesn't know that,]
no subject
[he's quiet, for a second.]
Famine... reminded me there were reasons others would be willing to take that risk, and then after I spoke with Iwatooshi and decided to tell him I was his partner, I... ended up being a little relieved that I did it.
[but not only for the wish.]
I didn't mind having someone who I... was tied to, that way, especially him. He-- he was always good to me.
no subject
[no matter if he murdered or was influenced to, no matter if Lavi had looked at his name on the list of suspects and wondered.]
...I'm sorry you lost him, Mathis.
no subject
[he never knew anyone had suspected him. mathis certainly hadn't; he'd seemed the same as ever, still the same strong, kind person.]
I know that it couldn't be helped, the way that things happened, but I still... I wish there was something that we could have done. It must have been hard, continuing to suffer through it.
no subject
He might not have wanted to say, even if he could tell you. Especially since we still don't have a solution. [besides death] It would have put you in danger too.
no subject
[he would've done anything he could. he'd do it for any of them.]
no subject
no subject
Maybe two? One knows what I am, but doesn't know I found my match.