[she doesn't seem to mind the hold, at least, chasing his hand a bit.]
You're not going to want to hear it, because I didn't. But it's probably better this way. She would've had to hurt someone last night, and you know she wouldn't have wanted to.
[there's like next to no emotion in how she says this because she can't muster up anything but exhaustion. mercy kills are hard for her.]
[she'd said the same thing to gale the other day. she just wanted one person to be safe. especially this one. especially camille, who had never been safe in her entire life.]
You won't have your power? Why? [she'll ask that first - she doesn't want to think too hard about tomi because every time she does she spirals a little about how she couldn't help him,]
Someone had killed her, and left her to be found like that, and said nothing about it. I assumed that they were avoiding taking any responsibility and facing what they had done.
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Mmhm. [she agrees, with a huff.] Fucking awful, isn't it. That it's just getting to be something we're all used to.
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[his grip on her hand tightens, but then he remembers her injured knuckles, and lets go.]
And after Camille, too...
[...]
I really... wanted to think that she would be all right.
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You're not going to want to hear it, because I didn't. But it's probably better this way. She would've had to hurt someone last night, and you know she wouldn't have wanted to.
[there's like next to no emotion in how she says this because she can't muster up anything but exhaustion. mercy kills are hard for her.]
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[a little shake of his head, and then instead of taking her hand, he just curls into her.
he doesn't sound surprised, though, despite what she said about him not wanting to hear it.]
...I won't have my power this weekend, so it's... not going to help with either of them. I'm sorry.
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[she'd said the same thing to gale the other day. she just wanted one person to be safe. especially this one. especially camille, who had never been safe in her entire life.]
You won't have your power? Why? [she'll ask that first - she doesn't want to think too hard about tomi because every time she does she spirals a little about how she couldn't help him,]
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[he admits, quietly.]
Someone had killed her, and left her to be found like that, and said nothing about it. I assumed that they were avoiding taking any responsibility and facing what they had done.
So I used it to try to find out who.
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... I don't think they were avoiding taking responsibility. [she says, finally.] It's a tricky topic.
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I... I know that it is. It's all right.
It worked.
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Yeah. [big, big sigh. she tugs him a little closer, resting her head against his.] Doesn't make it feel better.
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[he rests against her as easily as ever, comfortable there.]
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... D'you think it's hopeless here, Mathis? In this place.
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[he says after a moment, quietly.]
I want to believe that we're going to make it, and that how much we've been hurt here won't... be for nothing, in the end.
I've met people who I love, here. Whether they all feel similarly or not... I don't want to think there's no hope for us.
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I like to hear that. I really do. [it's a bit of a relief.] I'm with you. I don't think it'll have been for nothing. Time we spent here was important.