[god, it's... heartbreaking, to hear all of that. to hear her voice as she yells those words out, to know exactly how it feels to be aware that--
this is going to be it. that's going to be all. that you once hoped for a happy future you're never going to get to have, but that there's... at least still one more thing you can do for others.
it's not fair. especially to her. she should-- she really should--
there's only one thing he can do, after that, and it's just...
he throws his arms around her in a reflexive hug, holding tight, trying not to cry.]
[they have this a lot - hugs, with a lot of emotion.
this time, though, it's hard not to cry herself. she hasn't done it a lot here, doesn't want to - doesn't feel right. there are so many people who need something from her that she is more than happy to give. it gives her a purpose, it makes her feel grounded.
but after having to relive this, she just. it doesn't stick, that stubbornness to be strong.
she hides her face in his hair, with a hiccup. maybe this time she'll just collapse a little.]
[he murmurs quietly, clinging to her. his voice is choked, but he doesn't want-- he can't break first, for once, he doesn't want to, he wants to be able to support someone in return. to offer them some kind of comfort. they do-- so much for him, she does so much for him, and all he wants to do is even a quarter as much.
she's really loved being here, is the thing. she loves all the people, she loves the little moments she's had. the friends she's made, the flash of fire the very first week - all of it was worth it. she doesn't want to let go. whenever she thinks of the end she just wants to scream as loud as she can, even though she knows it doesn't do her any good.
it's going to have to be enough, but it isn't. and it sits very heavy in her chest right this moment, like the glowing engine that's chugging away, and.
she doesn't sob or anything, but her shoulders shake. she wanted to do so much more.]
[she deserves so much. she's so bright-- she's been so good to him, and he doesn't know what he would have done, if she weren't here. it would've been different without her warmth and her presence.
she-- she was the first person he told about why he didn't want to find his partner, at first, and she understood so quickly.]
...I love you.
[he says, quiet. it's not something he necessarily avoids saying; he'd told it to ceres, after all. it's just something that's been harder to say with less time, even when it's the familial kind-
but between two of them who might not get so much of it, it... shouldn't be wasted.]
You... made this place better for me, and understood me, a-and... you're still such a warm person, even when everything is so... so unfair to you. I love you for that.
[there's a long silence after this one. it's a lot to sort through. and she isn't really sure she's got it even by the end, but the details don't need to be perfect.
carefully, she takes his face in her hands, and kisses him on the forehead.]
Oh, daisychain. [soft, heartbroken.] Your life is more valuable than you could ever know.
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this is going to be it. that's going to be all. that you once hoped for a happy future you're never going to get to have, but that there's... at least still one more thing you can do for others.
it's not fair. especially to her. she should-- she really should--
there's only one thing he can do, after that, and it's just...
he throws his arms around her in a reflexive hug, holding tight, trying not to cry.]
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this time, though, it's hard not to cry herself. she hasn't done it a lot here, doesn't want to - doesn't feel right. there are so many people who need something from her that she is more than happy to give. it gives her a purpose, it makes her feel grounded.
but after having to relive this, she just. it doesn't stick, that stubbornness to be strong.
she hides her face in his hair, with a hiccup. maybe this time she'll just collapse a little.]
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[he murmurs quietly, clinging to her. his voice is choked, but he doesn't want-- he can't break first, for once, he doesn't want to, he wants to be able to support someone in return. to offer them some kind of comfort. they do-- so much for him, she does so much for him, and all he wants to do is even a quarter as much.
he holds on, refuses to let the dam break.]
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she's really loved being here, is the thing. she loves all the people, she loves the little moments she's had. the friends she's made, the flash of fire the very first week - all of it was worth it. she doesn't want to let go. whenever she thinks of the end she just wants to scream as loud as she can, even though she knows it doesn't do her any good.
it's going to have to be enough, but it isn't. and it sits very heavy in her chest right this moment, like the glowing engine that's chugging away, and.
she doesn't sob or anything, but her shoulders shake. she wanted to do so much more.]
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she-- she was the first person he told about why he didn't want to find his partner, at first, and she understood so quickly.]
...I love you.
[he says, quiet. it's not something he necessarily avoids saying; he'd told it to ceres, after all. it's just something that's been harder to say with less time, even when it's the familial kind-
but between two of them who might not get so much of it, it... shouldn't be wasted.]
You... made this place better for me, and understood me, a-and... you're still such a warm person, even when everything is so... so unfair to you. I love you for that.
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You're so sweet. Such a sweetheart. [she says, soft, turning her face to hide in his hair proper, with a shivery little sigh.]
Love you too, daisychain. [...] S'all I really want. For you to have a good time. All of you, but especially you.
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[even if he keeps being hurt, even if it's going to keep happening.]
...you've helped me so much. And I know Lucas is here for me too, a-and so is my partner, but you're... you're still different.
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[his partner. but. that's not really important so much.]
I'm glad I have. If I can be remembered for that, it's worth it.
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[he'll explain later. what's important now is:]
I'll remember you for it. Lucas will, too, I'll make certain that he does.
[he'll make sure that he knows.
memshare, though, has had enough sentimentality.]
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carefully, she takes his face in her hands, and kisses him on the forehead.]
Oh, daisychain. [soft, heartbroken.] Your life is more valuable than you could ever know.