karlach [pcs]

[cumulative]

shitpost coming

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[ablazement]

It wasn't really her.

[she murmurs, tucking his hair behind his ear.]

It was the monster. You saw it - she stopped herself. [...] M'sorry you didn't get to say goodbye.

[cumulative]

[that's the worst part. there wasn't any chance to speak. any chance for-- for anything, not when it happened so suddenly.]

I- I at least wanted to-- to do that much.

[she told him that they would--

he shakes his head, breath hitching, trying to stop himself from crying.]

[ablazement]

C'mon. You can. Don't hold it in, it'll get worse.

[cry, she means, resting her head on top of his.]

[cumulative]

[he does, for another couple of moments. he can't help the reflexive attempt not to cry.

it doesn't last long, though, before he ends up just ugly crying on her.]

[ablazement]

[that's fair, this is what she expects - she's careful when he breaks down, holding him close. this never gets any easier. watching the people she cares about already so much have their hearts broken over and over.

she doesn't cry, but she makes sure she's a comfortable place to curl up with. this is all she really can be right now. a body, a tank, something big and gentle as she can manage.]

[cumulative]

[that's more than enough for him. just- anything safe and solid, after a shock like that. anything to count on after today.]

She- said that we would... make more memories, here.

[ablazement]

[gazes jan.]

... She made some. She gave you some good ones. The time she was here mattered.

[cumulative]

[a little brokenly:]

I wanted... to give her some, as well.

[ablazement]

You did. You think she didn't have a good time all the times you did? Memories are a two way street.

[cumulative]

[that chokes him up again, and it's a minute before he can say anything else.]

I hope-

I hope so.

[ablazement]

Pretty good chance it's not just a hope, daisychain.

[she tucks his hair behind hsi ear.]

... I know this doesn't help, but this was probably better. Fucked up as it is. She went fast. Didn't have to suffer all night.

[cumulative]

She wasn't forced to... turn on anyone else.

[so it was a mercy. it was. he just- he just--]

Karlach, d-do you remember what you said about Monsieur Hill, after...

[ablazement]

[tiredly:] Probably. Which part?

[cumulative]

That you- you liked him as well.

I think that I might... feel the same way.

[how could he not, with the way that she was.]

[ablazement]

[GOD OKAY WELL

she exhales slow at that.]

... I'm sorry, sweetheart. [she presses a kiss to the side of his head.] I wish you'd had more time.

[cumulative]

[THIS IS NOT SOMETHING HE WANTED TO HAVE IN COMMON...

he curls into her a little more.]

I hadn't told her... the full truth about me, yet. I- I was thinking about it.

[he kept that bit of distance because he thought he was starting to like her, and now it's... going to stay that way.]

[ablazement]

[she holds him a little tighter.]

I think she would've been sweet about it.

[cumulative]

...I think that she would have, too.

[that kind of hurts to think about. aughjhghghgh JAN.]