I just hated him, at first, but then the more we spoke and argued, I... th- the strongest memories I have of hating someone are from a person who wanted revenge.
[as it turns out: being cursed is hard on you when you have brain problems.]
I really... wanted to kill him. I was awful to everyone else, too, I didn't-- care.
Well. That wasn't you, so I'm not holding it against you. [...] You want me to step in when you get like that? The others had you alright, so I grabbed Gale, but I don't want you to accidentally stab someone.
Reasoning with me... won't work. Daan shocked me out of it, when he hurt me to force me to drop my knife. I-if you have to hit me, I would... rather you do that than let me... keep saying those things.
Um, and if I'm feverish after, it should pass if I rest... I think.
H-hopefully not. It feels... a little pointed by now... I think Lucas is the only one left in the church who hasn't been forced to love or hate someone.
[they are out there saying FUCK RELIGION honestly.]
S-someone made me insult everyone else nearly all of yesterday, too, so I don't know if they'll really... be discouraged by what happened the other day.
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Yeah, that's what I thought. He was going to teach me. So. I've got to teach myself now. [still smiling!] I'm not mad at you, Mathis. Promise.
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[he will sit, though, settling next to her.]
The- the curse wasn't... why I tried to stab him.
[she did say to tell her if he lost it for memory reasons.]
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[silence, for a moment.]
What was the reason then? [she thinks she knows where this is going, but she wants to hear.]
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[as it turns out: being cursed is hard on you when you have brain problems.]
I really... wanted to kill him. I was awful to everyone else, too, I didn't-- care.
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Well. That wasn't you, so I'm not holding it against you. [...] You want me to step in when you get like that? The others had you alright, so I grabbed Gale, but I don't want you to accidentally stab someone.
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[he leans right back.]
Reasoning with me... won't work. Daan shocked me out of it, when he hurt me to force me to drop my knife. I-if you have to hit me, I would... rather you do that than let me... keep saying those things.
Um, and if I'm feverish after, it should pass if I rest... I think.
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[SHE IS SO BIG AND HE IS SO FRAGILE]
But I can help. There's other ways. [...] It'll be alright. I'm hoping after all that people just won't pick on you with the curses.
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[they are out there saying FUCK RELIGION honestly.]
S-someone made me insult everyone else nearly all of yesterday, too, so I don't know if they'll really... be discouraged by what happened the other day.
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[uwu]
It'll probably go to someone else for a bit. Our group likes to spread the variety.
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[he admittedly is biased because of his own situation but this is. so much messing with people.]
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[idly.
she will go back to trying to shape this wood into a cowboy hat.]
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[oocly i love the nerd fights incident icly he was just trying to make some good memories here man
he watches her shape the wood, though, observing.]
...it looks nice.
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[she is doing her best]
It's not great, but at least you can sort of tell what it is, which is important.
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[if she used to be unable to touch people he assumes she would perhaps, in that period, just set the wood on fire....]
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Yeah! That's part of it. But I also don't do little fiddly things like this. I break shit more than I make it.